Family Planning, Do You Really Want a Baby
If you answer “YES” to the question “Do you really want a baby?” then you are NOT ready to have one.
Many people will say they want a baby. I have heard it from adults, I have heard it from teens. I have even heard it from little children.
Do you want a baby? What about wanting a toddler, a child, a teenager? Babies grow up, they are not cute, helpless little people forever, and sadly many people want babies, and only babies. They forget about the commitment for the years after.
Will you dump your “baby” with strangers and rush off to work after a few months? Will you choose your career over the baby that only a short time ago seemed to be the most important thing in the world, something you wanted so badly?
Will you dump your baby with your own parents while you to go work or a party? This is totally unfair to them, they already did their job by raising you, they are not your built in (often free) babysitter.
When that child is a toddler, will you try to have another “baby” and favor the younger child because its so much cuter and more needy? People say this will never happen to them, but it does, it happens over and over and then snowballs as parents are stressed and tired after finding out that two children are more work and expense.
What will the world be like for your baby when it is older? With a world population of roughly 7 billion people, problems such as hunger, war, and poverty, are not likely to go away, in fact they may only get worse. The United Nations themselves have long warned that human overpopulation is the biggest risk (other than nuclear threat) to our continued existence as we have exploited many resources to unrecoverable levels already.
Mother llama and baby cria. Read more on our Llamas.
Do you want a baby… or Will you be a good parent?
That is the most important question to ask, and one few people really consider. Being a good parent means financially caring for your child, having money to send it to college later, and providing it with a good home now. If you are living in a moldy rental home, with a landlord that could pitch you out at any time, you are not ready to be a parent. If you still want to party, or are fixated with having things for yourself (rather than being willing to make sacrifices for time and money) you are not ready to be a parent.
There are already a lot of people who were born to parents that did not put enough planning into being a parent, people who wanted a baby, and nothing more. It is far to easy to be one of those people.
Will the child add stress? You might think not, but the answer is almost always “Yes”, so ask yourselves are you fully ready for this stress?
Planning
Simple steps for planning are listed below:
- Work hard, save up to buy a house, make a large down payment so your mortgage is less than a rental property (it can be done, I did it while making only minimum wage).
- Prepare your work schedule so one parent can always be home with the child at least until it is 5 years old. Grandparents should not be relied on more than once a month.
- Evaluate your lifestyle, are you and your partner in a healthy, committed relationship?
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Do you have enough money to raise your child without government assistance?
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Look around at other parents and their children, you may note how many lack parenting skills and have allowed their children to run over top of them. In many cases this is because people had children too soon, before they were ready. So, are you ready?
Related Links
There would be Fewer Spoiled Children if you could Spank their Parents
Teach your Child like you Train your Dog
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Published in: Family
Comments: 29 | Post a CommentPost a Comment
lillyrose | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
Very to the point write with some very sensible questions. Having children is definitely not something to be dome on a whim!
Emmie | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
I agree with you. So many people have babies just because they want a baby and they do not think when they grow up. They only stay babies for literally a year. So your article pointed out some very good points.
ceegirl | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
The truth you said in this article.
Jimmy Shilaho | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
I have said before that some people want babies of their own so as to mistreat them, abuse them or simply abandon them.
thepinkbook | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
I’d rather have a robo baby.
albert1jemi | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
very good one
Jackie118 | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
My partner and I chose not to have children partly because we’ve never felt financially able to afford them but also because they’re a drain on the natural resources of poor old Mother Earth! Instead, we’ve devoted the last 25 years of our lives to giving money to wildlife and animal charities. The more children that are being born, there’s more water and fuel consumed, more land taken with larger homes, more CO2 emissions pumped out into the world and more rubbish is being thrown into the rubbish bins.
Unfortunately, here in the UK the government favours families but seldom considers that couples who choose not to have children are a better bet, both environmentally and financially. We don’t have paid maternity time off work or all the medical requirements that pregnant mums/children require.
It wouldn’t be so bad if people restricted the number of children they produce, but it seems the whole world congratulates mum and dad when they hear they’re raising 6 or more children.
RAJEEV BHARGAVA | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
i completely agree with you, Brenda. babies are not just to look at and say ‘coochi coochi coo’ . they are going to change physically and into adults so it is for the whole of life, in all its ups and downs. this article helps to plot out the correct methods acquired to set oneself in the position to have a baby and look after it until it grows up. thanks very much for creating and share. i enjoyed reading it immensely. oh, and i love the photo of the llama mummy and her baby.
Vincent Eggleston Jr | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
Baby’s cost money always plan.
webseowriters | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
Wonderful
dino renaldo | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
good article…..
Jewelstar | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
I hate to see kids being dumped in the care of grandparents. I do agree with you. They have finished their role as parents and now is the time for them to relax. No more taxing them!
Mark Gordon Brown | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
our culture puts too much focus on the cult of the baby.
PSingh1990 | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
Nice Share.
Ruby Hawk | Nov 9, 2010 | Reply
Very few people are ready. It takes raising a child to know what that means.
papaleng | Nov 10, 2010 | Reply
you did lay down your observations for readers to ponder. In my opinion, having a baby really needs some planning. My only observation is, rich families has fewer children than those families living in the poverty line. good case in our place are those slum dwellers who just make babies just for fun..
Anuradha Ramkumar | Nov 10, 2010 | Reply
Very nice share, Brenda. In our culture, elders don’t give the newly weds time to think about all this. they want a baby in the next 10 months time; even many educated people does this. We waited for nearly 2 years before our daughter was born and so many started asking questions like why not go check up with the doc, there must be some problem with the girl, etc.
Minister Marlene | Nov 10, 2010 | Reply
I wish folks would leave poor grand parents alone. My Mom has finished her stint as a mother. I’d like her to rest. If she offers that’s another story. Too many being raised by grandparents. I like these tips. I really wish all would follow. A baby is not a toy to play about with. They grow up. My son is a teenager. Need I say more? Thanx B for this one, hope all get it.
K Kristie | Nov 11, 2010 | Reply
This is a thought-provoking post–a must-read for couples who says they want a baby.
youarestoopid | Nov 12, 2010 | Reply
what is wrong with you? This is extremist advice. You can have a career and a healthy happy kid. I do.
Brenda Nelson | Nov 13, 2010 | Reply
children are never going to tell you they are sad and wish you were at home with them, well thats not true, some do, but the parents refuse to hear it.
you can have a career sure – just have the other parent stay home, at least for the childs first five years – their most formative ones.
by the way, it is spelled s t u p i d
Shirley Aguas | Nov 13, 2010 | Reply
It is never easy to be a parent. Hence, one should be prepared financially, emotionally and physiologically. It is not enough to just bring those kids to this world.
Vente d'or | Jul 5, 2011 | Reply
I am truly impressed by this post. It really reflects what happened to me. I thought I wanted a baby… until I found how hard it is to deal with this. Of course I love him a lot, but hey, it’s really hard to be always there for him.
CCCCC | Jul 5, 2011 | Reply
People should stop calling it “having a Baby”, and instead call it “having a PERSON”…
Isabel K. | Jul 5, 2011 | Reply
Just prepare conditions , baby will come…
Amy | Jul 31, 2011 | Reply
If you wait until you are ready to have a baby (financially, settled into your career, etc) You may never have one. Relax, live life and have fun!
Dean the Life Coach | Aug 17, 2011 | Reply
No parent is ready to have children. It doesn’t matter how ready a person thinks they are, because nothing can fully prepare a person for parenthood, except parenthood itself.
Joshua-Nikenya | Aug 19, 2011 | Reply
You have really asked tough questions very crucial. I agree that parents did their best raising their children and so children should not bring to them their kids (grandsons and daughters) to be raised by them. However there are people who are still paying rent but have managed to bring up their kids. This article has a good advice for young men and women.
Rick Peterson | May 16, 2012 | Reply
Such a very informative article. I think most of the people really want to have a baby but each of them has its own choice on when will they want it. Having a baby is also having a great responsibility and we all know that having a baby won’t be an easy task but we all have our choices and at the end of the day it depends on us on how we think on that.