Effectively Talking to a Toddler
Sometimes Parents need to use their Outside Voice, when Inside.
While at work (retail shop) I recently saw a child be extremely disobedient, and the mother just stood there coaxing the child to obey, almost bribing. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she offered the kid an ice cream to get compliance. I have seen parents bribe with toys….
This is a scene that plays out time and time again and is a particular sore spot for myself, and I am sure others who work in retail, or early child development. Parents are terrified to make any demands on their kids, and instead talk to them in a weak, and coaxing manner.
If my kid, although now a teen, had been as bad as this one child (who was in an area they should not have been – behind the counter where the clerks work) all I would have had to do was raise my voice slightly – put a bit of “I MEAN IT” in my voice, perhaps snapped my finger, pointed to the space beside me, and said “Get Over Here Now”, and my kid would have responded instantly. Yet it took this parent, about 3 minutes to get her child out of the workers area, with my assistance to physically guide the child out of the area, as they were in the way of the staff.
It was a pathetic sight, and yet not all that uncommon.
I strongly encourage all parents, mothers, fathers, grandparents, to learn how to use their outside voice when inside to instill a bit of respect out of their children. Lord help the parents who try to coax their toddler into action, when that toddler becomes a teen.
Other Parenting Links
10 Negative Games Parents Play with Children
When Spanking Works, and when it does not
There would be Fewer Spoiled Children if you could Spank their Parents
Are we Teaching Children to have Attention Problems?
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Published in: Family
SuperMember | Oct 17, 2010 | Reply
such a great article thanks
Jimmy Shilaho | Oct 17, 2010 | Reply
Interesting and very useful.
webseowriters | Oct 17, 2010 | Reply
Thanks
lindalulu | Oct 17, 2010 | Reply
very nice interesting and great tips…
Ruby Hawk | Oct 17, 2010 | Reply
Bea, I see this often, and I want to pull the mom aside and tell her to teach her child to respond to her mother. it’s a common thing and I feel sorry for the child. How is that child going to behave in school?
iworkathome | Oct 17, 2010 | Reply
Yes I agree. I see parents doing this all the time. The problem is made worse by the fact that government agencies are trying to control the way people discipline their children and saying everything is abuse.
bala99 | Oct 18, 2010 | Reply
A child begins exploring the limits of acceptable behavior from the day one. It may not be apparent to us. By the time it crawls it is very real. Discipline starts then. Gentle persuasion works at this point. More often than not we are taken by the cuteness and tend to ignore these transgressions. We even attribute this to the \\\’cuteness\\\’ and \\\’liveliness\\\’ of the child.
When some thing dangerous happens the world crashes around our ears and then it is our knee jerk reaction to either start harsh discipline or apathy, to be resigned as \\\’A child will be a child\\\’ Both of these do not work. It is parents who have not been consistent in the disciplinary approach who bribe the child. It is getting over the situation \\\’now\\\’ that motivates them to do this. Unfortunately this is a long term failure.
A lot of love binds the child to its parents. Minding children and telling the what is good and what is bad from the beginning builds in and motivates the sense of the right and wrong into them. No it will not make them morons! Discipline is not a narrow lane it is a wide band, to give a child freedom to make decisions.
Adam Qualmann | Oct 18, 2010 | Reply
I understand what you are saying… but, there is an aspect in this that is not looked at. In todays reality, if you look at your kid in the wrong way in front of the wrong person you could get nailed for child abuse, child neglect, and a list of about 12 charges. The fear is not of getting the kid upset, about going to jail. Just thought it was important to throw that in there. The government and laws have gone way over board and they feel that it is good, but they have taken things to far and when the kids get to middle and high school there going to see how unruly the children will become. Dont get my wrong, I am against child abuse in all ways, but I cant put my kid in the corner because its neglect, or raise my voice because it COULD be emotionally damaging to the child. I feel that the laws on this have been passed by people that did not like there childhood and do not have kids. There for they should have no say in what the law should be on this. But, we will see what happens.
N. Sun | Oct 18, 2010 | Reply
Great share…Bribing a child often can cause the child to lose character.
albert1jemi | Oct 18, 2010 | Reply
excellent info
papaleng | Oct 18, 2010 | Reply
so many pointers to learn here.
Nykesha Alexandra | Oct 19, 2010 | Reply
Thank You for sharing this. A nice to know one.
SarpyLadee | Oct 19, 2010 | Reply
thanks alot for sharing this.
Sceptical Thinker | Oct 20, 2010 | Reply
What excellent advice. Discipline is a necessary part of a child growing up and developing confidence. As you say, the right words or even a look are often all that is required. Bribery is a way of giving in, and teaching the child that manipulation works. You then create a rod for your own back . Excellent read
Folashade Fawole | Nov 24, 2010 | Reply
Great article!