Devastated

Have you ever been devastated by news or an experience? I just was. The topic is one that a vast majority of the country will reply with “What’s the big deal?” but that does not change the way I feel. It is one of those things that I tried to instill in my kids as being of the utmost importance. I feel like I failed.

The devastation is that my kids consume alcohol. Being raised in the Midwest with old traditional Protestant values, I had hoped I had passed this disdain for drinking to my children. A wedding reception proved I was wrong. They took part in the vast consumption. Now I do not mean they were drunk but they were like most social drinkers with various drinks and seemed to be enjoying it.

So, do I just need to get over it and move on? Should I rationalize that everyone is doing it so I need to accept it? Perhaps I should take this as a learning experience than start drinking myself. After all, I know I an antique, a person that is extremely rare in today’s American society. I need to get with the 21st Century and take part.

My father instilled this view of alcohol in me. He was a farmer that told me many times of the evil of the stuff that it was the cause of family bankruptcies and the loss of neighbors land. My father also taught me to attend church and work hard. Other beliefs passed on were a love of the land to be considerate of others.

It is the complete abhorrence of alcohol that seemed to affect me the most. I work in the financial industry and have felt out of place many times because of my stand on not drinking but my co workers have accepted me as I am. Should I be willing to accept my kids with their choice?

I am reminded that in the book of Romans we are not to pass judgment on others (Romans 14:13-23). Do I call them on my disappointment or is my pride hurt because my beliefs have been rejected? If I do accept it, what changes can I make in my relationship with them to help me cope with this? How much grace am I to give in all this?

I know part of this has to do with my pride. I am hurt because of the way I learned this, the degree my beliefs were rejected and the hypocrisy in my life. I need healing for my soul and hopefully this article is the beginning.

I will not change my views on the subject. Perhaps my views have been too strict for others but I am comfortable with it. We all probably have things are not subject to compromise. Perhaps that list needs to be checked.

So is there anything that is beyond compromise where we will say this is right or wrong no matter what? I am thinking of the wonderful musical “Fiddler on the Roof”. The father had to deal with the changes in tradition and had to sort out what really mattered and what was simply, “We have always done it that way.” I guess that is where I am now.