An Open Letter To My Father.
I am only nineteen but I have already been through a series of ups and downs in life. Although it made me who I am today, I cannot afford to say that I have become wiser and more mature. And even when I act otherwise, I am not always as strong as I seem to be. I am quite sure, though, that I still have a long way to go before I become the woman I intend to be.
We do not share a lot in common, in fact we are opposites of each other. I do not know a lot about you. I can only see parts of you whenever you share stories with me and my sisters because that is the only time you open yourself to us. It did not seem to bother me then. I was young and naive, all I could think about was myself. I thought it was good that you seem not to care, I felt free and independent.
But now, I deeply regret that I felt that way. That I would rather spend my days with my boyfriends. Or go out shopping. Or hang out with friends at the mall. My early teenage years were trash and I wish I listened to you more. I did not give you a bit of my time. We never talked about anything when we were stuck with each other in a car ride. I spent all my nights talking over the phone with another guy but never have I talked to you longer than fifteen minutes.
I am sorry Dad. That I made you feel unloved and unimportant then. That I did not listen to you. That I hated you.
I am sorry to you, for myself, that I was not a good daughter.
I love you so much Dad!
I am months away from being twenty. Your little girl will soon be saying goodbye to teenage years. When I was fifteen, I longed to be at this age. To be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. But now that I am here, I wish to stop aging or be immortal. I wish we could all be immortal. Because now that I am growing up, you and Mom are also growing old. I feel a tight grip on my throat, trying to stop tears from flowing, because I know we would not be together forever.
So here I am, a young lady so different from my fifteen-year-old counterpart, doing what I can to spend all my time with you and the rest of our family. I try to share to you bits of me, so that you could understand why I am who I am. And even when I could barely peek inside of you, I still keep faith that I would one day know of your thoughts and ideas. Of who you are as a person, not just as my father.
I cannot have enough words to tell how much I love you, Dad. I am not good with words, especially those that express love. But I hope, in the long run, I will be able to make you forget all those trashy teenage years through making you feel loved everyday of our lives. Someday I will make you and Mom and my sisters proud.
I love you. You’re my number one man.
your stubborn daughter
Published in: Family