Parents must not use their positions to hurt or intimidate their children.
To say an outright ‘no’ or ‘yes’ to a question or an answer gives the impression of little or no room given for interaction and deliberation especially, one that goes on between children and their parents when it comes to the latter, instilling their position as caretakers and the former also exercising their rights and choices as youths.
It has been a tussle and a tug of war when it comes to parents getting their kids to do what their heart desires. It has almost been a master and servant relationship where the child must at the snip of a finger, respond or obey what they are told. It is an undeniable fact that, the parent gave birth to the child and therefore they have the singular right to exercise their position and possibly have the last word.
This is what has caused problems and is still happening in many homes simply because; we presently have a youth generation that are too smart and too powerful to be run-over in discussions. A strict or stern answer to stop children from doing what their parents deem to be bad could rather send most wise kids to find out why mummy and daddy says they should not do ‘this’ or ‘that’.
Most of these kids have become more inquisitive to the outright rejection by their parents because, they have a deep thought process and reasoning power. Parents who had falsely interjected their kids from acting have complicated the problems of their wards. Children who vacated their homes have come back with worse problems.
I was deeply moved in spirit when I sat down with an adolescent youth to have a secret discussion concerning the matter. During the interaction, she asked: ‘why would mummy tell me not to do this?’ In fact I did not really know what that parent meant and why she would resist her daughter from taking a particular step in life. As an adult I only tried to derive the understanding from her mummy’s statement to convince her. As to whether she was satisfied with my answer is another topic altogether but indeed it was a difficult experience explaining myself to her.
That was a bad way to leave ones daughter for somebody else to win her trust. It is a deadly thing to do eeh? Understanding is important in this consideration. When a child understands what he or she is doing, they do it in a much better way. The child almost seems lost in such difficult moments if proper explanation is not given. One of the things parents know is that, their kids are gradually growing each and every passing day, thinking like adults minute by minute. There are instances where children had ventured into things by dent of experimentation and had brought endless problems to themselves their parents.
Published in: Family