Experts may say that divorce and separation have no effect on a child’s well being, but they’re wrong.
The experts may tell you that children of broken or blended families are no different physically, emotionally, or mentally as children who’s parents stay together. This couldn’t be any further from the truth!
According to The Christian Institute, children from broken homes are five times as likely to suffer emotional disorders. Children of blended families are also more likely to have emotional disorders compaired to children who’s parents stay togehter. Family breakdown has far more significance in a child’s development and emotions than most other household factors including financial circumstances.
Children of broken homes or blended families have a much harder time dealing with their situation than their parents or the experts may realize. A child’s psyche is a lot more fragile than we may realize. They deal with things differently than adults do. Add to that the fact that they don’t quite understand why their life is changing, and can’t comprehend the explanations given to them.
They only adapt to their new situations because they must. They’re given no choice in the matter. This does not mean they are handling things well, it does not mean they do not carry the emotional baggage, or that they’re even happy with their new situation. They just go along because they don’t know how else to handle it. However studies have shown, and some experts believe, that the consequences of an unstable family background are felt long into adult life.
Just imagine for a moment being in their shoes. One moment your life is content, you have mom and dad together in the same house. Then all of a sudden for seemingly no reason what so ever, one of your parents up and leaves. Your first reaction is to blame yourself. You misbehaved somehow and the parent left because of you. This is a natural reaction for most children. You may eventually accept that it was not your fault, after both parents explain over and over again that they both still love you the same, but deep down you may never truly believe that you weren’t at least a little at fault.
Now you go back and forth between your parents homes, living some days with one parent, some days with another. Each parent may now have their own set of rules for you, and you must adjust to this. You also have to adjust to not seeing your friends that live near your home, and try to make new ones in another neighborhood. You may even have to switch schools and adjust to a whole new lifestyle. Not to mention now each parent has a bit less money, both have to work a little harder to support themselves, so many of your usual luxuries have disappeared. Basically it appears as if your entire life is crumbling before your eyes, and you’re completely helpless to do anything about it.
Published in: Family