Being a Twin

I have an identical twin brother named Eric. He is my #1 favorite person in the world. Over the past 16 years we have formed a connection that is almost unbreakable, we have created memories that are irremovable, and we have told secrets that are irretrievable. And I love that kid to death. But times aren’t always so hunky-dory. We step on each other toes; we argue and fight. We disagree on music tastes (my brother listens to such ungodly things as John Mayer) and friend choices sometimes, but we are always each other confidant. 

Here is a list of the most common things asked/said to us when we first meet someone new:

• Double trouble!
• Are you two related?
• I think I’m seeing double!
• Have you ever switched places in anything?
• Can you guys use… oh what’s the word… (They seem to always forget. it’s telepathy, sir or madam)
• How do you know your parents didn’t mix you up when you two were babies? 
• Which one is older?
• Which one is the good twin?
• You’re cool, you’re a dork. (I’ve had this happen to me. A complete stranger will walk up and judge both of us immediately. This has happened on several occasions and it’s just plain rude.)
• How do I tell you apart? 
• How far apart were your births? (It was 8 minutes for Eric and I.)

But you know what I hate the most about being a twin? Some people just DON’T TRY. They give up on trying to tell us apart. I have been in the same school with several people for several years, and yet it’s still a 50/50 chance for them to get it right. they just throw out a name and hope it’s right. And when they do, they expect a treat! It’s repulsive! They scream out “YES!” when they get my name right. CONGRATULATIONS! You just called me by the name given to me at birth! You’ve won a smack to the face.
We get asked so often if we can use telepathy, that we have our own words if someone asks. I’ll be thinking “burrito,” and Eric will be thinking “taco.” It freaks them out. Those mindless sheep. 

So next time you see twins, be polite. Don’t say anything that you think is funny. They won’t. Even if they laugh, it’s just out of politeness. And genuinely try to get their names right without their help. It’ll impress them! For me, Eric and I are completely different people, so when someone asks “How do I tell you apart?”, I want to say “WE LOOK, ACT, SPEAK COMPLETELY DIFFERENT YOU DROOLING BUFFOON!” But instead I mention the scar I have, the fact that I’m a bit taller, bluh blah bluh blah blah bluh. Just treat them like different people, and they will respect you for that. It really means a lot. We are unique. 

That’s all.