Bad Parenting Advice
This is more of a "what not to do" with your toddler when out shopping, and the reasons behind it.
Recently I read some bad parenting advice about how to deal with toddlers when out shopping. The advice given was to enter the store, grab something off the shelf, like a book, give it to the child to keep them quiet. The person added “You don’t even have to buy it, just put it back.”. I was appalled at this terrible advice.
This is akin to you walking into a clothing store, picking something off the rack putting it on, and wearing it while you continue shopping, then putting it back. It is almost as bad as going into a grocery store and letting your kid eat some grapes and then walking out without paying for them.
How can we expect our children to respect another person’s property when we do not teach them to respect store merchandise? If we have no intention of buying it we should certainly not be handing it to our toddler, no matter how sweet we think they are.
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Merchandise is often damaged by kids and returned to the shelves, costing the store money. Some kids suck on stuffed animals which are then returned to the shelf before being sold. Think about it.
Stores are not playgrounds for your kids, they are places of business, and if your child cannot behave him, or her, self in a store, perhaps they should be left at home.
What should happen is that parents should have specific items in their car, or diaper bag, specifically for giving to their child when on a shopping trip. If the parent feels they must give the child a book, or toy, from the store at any time, they need to be responsible for what happens to that item, if it is damaged in anyway it needs to be paid for (not hidden on some shelf). Keep in mind that while a child is playing an item the parent has no intention of buying, it prevents other customers from seeing that item.
As an added note, if you want to see some good examples of bad parenting go work in a retail store for a few weeks. You can learn a lot. Of course none of us is perfect parents, but when I read the advice that encouraged people to be bad parents, I just had to say something!
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Published in: Family
djbtol | Sep 12, 2011 | Reply
First of all, I hope you are a parent of a toddler. Until you have been in those shoes, you just don’t know. No matter what you bring along, the stuff on the shelf will be far more interesting to the toddler. Most parents would not casually borrow things from the shelf for their kids amusement. On the other hand, I am sure many parents have done so out of desperation.
As far as teaching respect for other’s goods, there will certainly be a better time and place to tackle that subject.
Just my opinions. Thanks for the good discussion.
LoveDoctor | Sep 12, 2011 | Reply
Excellent advice. I agree with you too. I am not a parent and I can tell you one thing. The grocery store and mall is the last place you want to bring your child to. I used to work in retail for the christmas holidays last year and let me tell you that the things that I saw shocked me and as employees we were not allowed to say anything to the parents. commenter above sounds very defensive,.
Jimmy Shilaho | Sep 12, 2011 | Reply
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Its parents who fail in leading by example.
dwisuka | Sep 13, 2011 | Reply
I totally agree with you. Very well article….
dazzlejazz | Sep 13, 2011 | Reply
Well said Brenda!
Alistair Briggs | Sep 14, 2011 | Reply
Yep, parents have a responsibility to lead by example, alas they don’t always do so.
Brenda Nelson | Sep 15, 2011 | Reply
to djbtol
I was the parent of a toddler, now I am a parent of a teen. I never allowed her to grab stuff from the shelf nor did I give stuff to her, I expected her to behave, and she did. If she acted up, I dont remember it but I know I am not the type to give in .
Ruby Hawk | Sep 19, 2011 | Reply
If the parents don’t teach the child, who will? These little kids growing up with no discipline are not benefiting.
Ruby Hawk | Sep 25, 2011 | Reply
I agree with you. Kids should be taught early not to pick up other’s belongings.
Sceptical Thinker | Sep 27, 2011 | Reply
Well observed article. The action of taking something off the shelf to keep the child quiet is a reflection of lazy, bad parenting. Another example would be laughing at a child who misbehaves, rather than taking the trouble to make the child aware of what they have done and the consequences. These parents are making a rod for their own back when the child grows older and is unmanagable. But worse still, their behavour effects the rest of us whether this is in the classroom or on the streets. The irony is these same parents will blame teachers and the rest of society for their own shortcomings.
Epicsauce101 | Oct 19, 2011 | Reply
I can’t believe someone thinks distracting a child with merchandise that isn’t purchased is the best option. I agree with you one hundred percent. A parent needs to take responsibility for their child’s action. Especially if damage is done to a particular item given to the child by the parent. Bringing a diaper bag with items for the child is a brilliant idea. I usually just see parents yelling at their child in the stores rather than coming prepared to keep their child under control and busy while they shop around.
CHIPMUNK | Oct 26, 2011 | Reply
Some parents lack the education in raising their children