Avoiding Grandparent Syndrome

So you think that just because you raised them, had them
toilet trained, weaned, walking and talking by one year
of age, they actually want your advice on raising their
kids?

No.

They don’t.

And if you push, you will become another victim of Grand
Parent Syndrome.

GPS is not fatal, unless you keep pumping out that unwanted
advice.

As a parent you did the best you could; if you’ve had more
than one child you might have botched the first but by the
second had it under control.

They, as new parents, should, you think, turn to you for
a few pointers.

NOPE.

You are the last person they want to hear from. Write it
down if you think you’ll forget; THEY DON’T WANT YOUR ADVICE.
Kids who were raised in the 50s and 60s were under the
’scientific’ scheme. Usually fed measured formula, the
times to begin toilet training and weaning carefully
notated, by the time a child was one year old diapers
were obsolete and cups replaced bottles.

Those born in the 70s and 80s might have had some carry
over so half of them might be raised as their parents
were, while the other half were kept on the breast or bottle
longer, and toilet training was delayed.

By the 90s and “00s enormous kids with a mouth of teeth
are going for the breast, and there seems no attempt to
toilet train kids as old as two and a half.

There is no sense trying to tell the new parents that
introducing foods on a spoon at one month is a easy
way to wean the baby without trauma as is beginning
to toilet train as soon as the baby can sit up.

After all, the baby of one month who is started on
porridge (and other foods slowly introduced) will be
eating from the family pot by six months, and the
bottle/breast no longer the centre of nourishment so
easily removed without the child feeling insecure.

The baby of three months who is put on the potty each
morning (and/or when the parent has learned they usually
pass stool) will be toilet trained by nine months as it
has become “normal’ for them to not dirty a diaper.

You know this.

You raised them this way.

However, that was then.

This is Now.

Unless their pediatrician or one of their friends tells them
these things, they will find your advice repugnant.

Hence, Silence is Golden.

Once you can be silent on the “major” issues, ignoring
the “minor” is simplicity itself.

So the kid cries incessantly. She’s so spoiled the parents
must satisfy her every whim or be subject to tantrums.

It is NOT your problem.

Ignore it.

Keep yourself out of the line of fire when the kid starts
throwing things, (bathrooms are great places to hide).
Prove totally unreliable so no one can ask you to
babysit, (trust me, you don’t want to look after this kid).

Act as if nothing is strange, no matter how insane it is.
In this way, you avoid GPS. The kid will realise what jerks
his parents are, and look to you as the only sensible adult.
Sure, it will drive your kids crazy when their brat turns
to you as the fount of all wisdom, but that’s the reward.?