Are Kids in Control?

We love our kids!

Packed full of attitude and most often without a set of legible instructions, it can be a daily battle for parents. You try your best but usually this is nowhere near good enough!

I blame several sources. But I rarely blame the parents themselves. Being one myself I’m naturally biased. Placing the onus on us everytime something goes wrong might well be the custom, but it isn’t always fair. Whilst acknowledging parental responsibility is important, I feel too many are given a raw deal.

There are simply too many rights for everyone these days. Our culture has shifted so much in only the last twenty years. When I was a kid, I was fearful of my mother and father. I dreaded them ever finding out about any dark little secrets pertaining to my behaviour. Though I was rarely smacked, the mere threat of such action was usually enough to illicit more acceptable conduct from me. They were allowed to smack me if necessary and I knew it! There was an inherent fear of adults in general, or at least a respect that ensured kids rarely crossed the line.

How times change. My kids don’t fear me! Perhaps I’m doing something wrong. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve questioned my own effectiveness as a responsible guardian. Though they are by no means the world’s worst in terms of behaviour, they can be something of a handful. Sometimes they need to be corrected, but this is where the issue becomes cloudy. Avoiding confrontation is something most parents try to do but sometimes a situation arises that needs to be dealt with effectively and finally! The problem is that parents have to confront these issues with both hands tied behind their back. Our lack of effectiveness is our weakness and if you know anything about kids, it’s that they are adept at exploiting a weakness.

It’s not my intention to sound negative about what is essentially a wonderful gift bestowed upon us. I love my children dearly – all three of them! They are, along with a successful marriage, amongst my biggest achievements in life. Why then do I often feel so paralysed, so out of touch and so damn guilty if i so much as shout at them!

As if our own insecurities weren’t bad enough, there seems little you can do to effectively correct your kids these days without drawing the attention of that new breed of public citizen – the do-gooder!