14 Year Old Slut
Parents: There are some things you may not want to know about your teenagers but need to be aware of. Peer pressure may not be the only thing to blame for wayward teens.
A 14 year old girl in my area has been throwing herself at strangers, having sex with guys she does not even know. Could this be your daughter?
It started last summer at a music festival. The girl arranged to meet her boyfriend at the festival, but when they met up she dumped him and proceeded to get drunk. She proceeded to go around trying to make out with any guy she met (often with the guy she just broke up with in viewing distance), but every time she told them her age (14) the guy left. Eventually she stopped telling her age, and ditched the friends she came with.
The festival was several days long, her friends had tents for the night and the next morning could not find the girl, they stayed late looking for her, but eventually had to leave as two of them had to get to work.
In the days that followed the girl posted about loosing her virginity at the festival and having sex with many different guys she met. This was something nobody knew and she could have easily kept a secret, yet she felt some need to tell everyone, even posting bits on Facebook, bragging about being a slut.
Why would a teenage girl feel the need to behave in this way?
There are several contributing factors to why this girl, and others, feel the need to behave like sluts. I have never met this girl, I have only heard about her, so I am only guessing based on the facts that I do know.
Her parents were divorced, both are in new relationships and seldom have time for her. She may feel unloved.
Her boyfriend refused to have sex with her (good for him) but as a result of other factors (including the media and strong sexual message kids get in their music) this may have felt like an insult to an already insecure girl.
She was drinking.
Teenagers have raging hormones.
I want to stress there was no “peer pressure” involved, although that seems to be what many parents blame. The other girls she went with tried to discourage her, but were ultimately powerless to stop her from making her own (bad) choices. She left them.
Thoughts
All in all this is a very sad statement but not uncommon, indeed when I was a waitress some 25 years ago I knew another 14 year old who got pregnant. This girl didn’t even have alcohol to blame but I do think that her pregnancy was in part due to the fact that her mother took up with a new boyfriend and no longer paid any attention to her, she had no father in her life, and was looking for love and attention.
As such I encourage parents to remember that just because your teenage daughter may be showing signs of wanting to be more independent, she still needs to have some of your attention and to hear “I love you” regularly, and ideally from both parents.
Liked it
Published in: Family
Profit Buzz | Dec 23, 2011 | Reply
I think it is not easy to understand the teenagers these days, but we need to monitor them closely
webseowriters | Dec 23, 2011 | Reply
A great share
dazzlejazz | Dec 23, 2011 | Reply
Great piece that should be read by every parent. I think peer pressure is as big a factor as lack of parental understanding in these sad cases.
Unfortunately young girls are wanting to be ladies far quicker than they should. I see the difference between my daughter (who is homeschooled) and her friends who aren’t and am truly thankful she’s still happy being a kid growing at her own pace into a beautiful young adult.
PR Mace | Dec 23, 2011 | Reply
Our daughter had sex at fourteen, she was afraid and told me two days later. I took her to the doctor and had her put on birth control. We then had a long talk. My daughter and I were and are still close. We had a tight family but at that time our son was found to have bipolar disorder and our family was in crisis. Our family therapist said sometimes this can cause a child to act outside of their normal behavior. You never know what will cause a teen to behave the way the do. You have to continue to love them, talk to them and be there for them. Good article, Brenda.
wendym | Dec 25, 2011 | Reply
I’m hesitant to use the word slut for anyone that is too young to legally consent to have sex. Shaming isn’t what a child needs in response to promiscuous behavior, otherwise this is an article that parents should think about.
MJRapp | Dec 25, 2011 | Reply
That’s messed up. She’s young enough; hopefully she’ll straighten herself out before something more horrible happens.
CA Johnson | Dec 28, 2011 | Reply
This is really sad. I think her parents need to spend time with her. There are too many children having children now. Thanks for sharing.
Ruby Hawk | Dec 28, 2011 | Reply
You never know what a teenager might do. They are still developing and are not using good judgement. This is a little over the top but it can and does happen.
girishpuri | Dec 29, 2011 | Reply
i agree , a regular attention is must in parenting , i good piece of advice.
clay hurtubise | Dec 31, 2011 | Reply
Good piece. I had a pregnant 14 year old who brought her 28 year Mom in to see me….
Clay
jsimms32 | Jan 11, 2012 | Reply
Teens see the world not through their own eyes, but through the eyes of their peers and the media. I was one only a few years ago, and I remember how pressure loaded the sex issue was. It’s funny looking back on it now, but it wasn’t so funny back then. Great share.