10 Ways to Wean Your Child Off the Pacifier
by Sydney Hazelton on Feb 15, 2008 with 32 Comments
Is your child attached to his pacifier? How do you get rid of the pacifier, especially during bedtimes?
Weaning your baby or toddler off the pacifier may not be as easy as it seems. A child who is so attached to his pacifier will rant and rave for it, for hours. Here are some tips and tricks to help your child get over the pacifier.
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Cold Turkey
Going cold turkey may sound very ruthless. You have to expect a lot of crying if you decide to use this strategy. Parents will have to stay strong and true to their decision of not giving the pacifier. You must not give in! Give the child a few days to about two weeks to adjust without them.
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Dip In Coffee
Make the pacifier undesirable. My parents tried this on me when I was young. They made a cup of strong, black coffee and dipped my pacifier in it. They left the dark-tinged pacifier for me to find. When I put it in my mouth, I spit it out immediately because of the strong taste. Apparently I did not want it anymore. They tried it on my sister but coffee did not work, so they used some other stronger stuff so that my sister would reject her pacifier. Try out something bitter but harmless to the child.
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Feed a Muffin After Milk
I tried this method on my daughter. Since we often give milk to her before her nap and going to bed at night, we decided to change the routine a bit. We gave her a small muffin or biscuits to eat after her milk. The act of chewing is similar to the sucking of the pacifier, making her drowsy. Make sure you brush her teeth as soon as she gets drowsy and ready for bed.
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Cut the Pacifier
This method seems to work miraculously for some parents. Cut a tiny piece off the end of the pacifier and tell your child that it doesn’t work anymore. They may not want it anymore after discovering that it is “spoilt”. Some children may be comforted with the pacifier physically in the mouth, but not having to suck them. For these kids, gradually cut more tiny pieces off the pacifier until there is nothing left for them to hold in the mouth.A variation of the above method would be to poke a tiny hole at the end of the pacifier. Having pacifiers that does not work anymore may frustrate the kids and soon they will let it go.
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Prepare The Child For The Big Day
Choose a big day such as their birthday to prepare your child to give up the pacifier. Some parents tell their children that their pacifiers will not work anymore after their 3rd birthday. Then they use strategy #4 above on the night of their birthday. It may work as it is a special day for them.
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Donate The Pacifier
If your child is old enough, you may want to cultivate the habit of donating baby items to other needy children. One of the items could be their pacifiers. But be sure to remove the pacifier before sending the donated items away.
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Lose The Pacifier
Hide the pacifier so that the child could not find them. When they ask for it, go on a pacifier hunt to look for it. At times, you may let the child find it. But other times, you may hide it in a place he will not look such as the dustbin. Since it has gone missing, the child may give it up.
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Read A Book
There is a book that is recommended for those who want to tell their children some “tale” about giving up the pacifier. It is entitled The Binky Ba-ba Fairy by Heather Knickerbocker-Silva. The fairy in the story gives the pacifiers to other babies who need them. Maybe you could read this and combine with strategy #7 above.
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Trade It For a Toy
Bribery may not always work. But if you have read the book in #8 with your child, you may want to reward your child for giving his pacifier up. You may want your child to put his pacifier under the pillow and it will be replaced with a toy he always wanted the next morning.
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Let The Child Give It Up
If you let the child be part of the decision, he may be more receptive to giving up his pacifier. For instance, you may help your child to decide to give up his pacifier. When he agrees, get him to throw it in the bin. When he asks for it later, remind him that he has thrown it away or make up something about the garbage man has given it away to other babies or something. Gross but it might just work!
Well, getting rid of pacifiers will not be easy. Armed with all these strategies, one of them or a creative combination of these might work for you and your child. Try them!
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Published in: Family
Becca | Sep 14, 2008 | Reply
My son is going to be 12 months old on the 26th of this month, i would like to wean him off of it now so he wont have it any longer then he should have it. i’m not sure of what i should do to subitute it with instead. I know he still really young but i have seen 3 year olds still sucking on there pacifiers and i don’t want my child still having that pacifier at that age, that is insane. IF you can e-mail me some helpful information on that i would appreciate it. thanks
G | Sep 17, 2008 | Reply
Just out of curiosity, why it so INSANE for a 3 year-old to have a pacifier? One of the most important lessons to learn as a parent is that ALL kids are different. Some are mature emotionally, while others are not. While it may be unnecessary (not INSANE) for some 3 year-olds to have pacifiers, it may be necessary for other kids to have them at that age. If you create hard rules for your children – without sensitivity to each child’s emotional needs – you are going to miss the mark.
At the same time, you do have to draw the line sometimes, regardless of the individuality of the child, but be sure you are doing it for the right reasons. “I don’t want my child still having that pacifier at that age” is NOT a good reason, by itself. Just because you don’t want it, doesn’t mean it is the right decision. Just make sure you have some reasonable justification – usually having to do with your child’s best interest. I’m not saying that your not wanting your kid to have a pacifier at that age isn’t in your kid’s best interest – just that there should be some good reason for it.
km | Oct 21, 2008 | Reply
I agree, it is ridiculous to have a paci at 3. It is indicative of a permissive parent. It is no good for their teeth and has become a “habit” by age 3 (even sooner)- these are facts & have nothing to do with “emotional maturity”. Also, and not for every child, it could lead to more ear infections.
When I see a child with a paci at 3, I don’t think “Oh every child is different”, I think, that parent was not willing to put up with the difficult task of taking it away. I would much rather see the child holding a “lovey” at that age. That may be comforting to the child and has more to do with their emotions that a paci -which is a HABIT not an emotional need.
Alisa | Dec 1, 2008 | Reply
Don’t be so quick to judge. I have taken the binki away twice now. The first time for a month. I would catch her putting her baby sisters in her mouth but that was it. One night after her crying for two hours we gave her a binki and she fell asleep in two minutes. We then removed the binki from her mouth. How are you suppose to take it away completely when baby sister has one.
Chris | Dec 30, 2008 | Reply
With our two year old, we took his soothers this Christmas and put them in a gift bag to give to Santa as a thank you for his presents. We’ve had a couple of tough nights sleep-wise, but he doesn’t ask for them at all.
Kerry | Feb 4, 2009 | Reply
I think it is best not to judge anyone. You can tell I have an older kid with a pacifier by that comment! Hey I made a mistake, I’m a wimp and he’s a manipulater. He turns 3 tomorrow and I have told him no more so we are going cold turkey. I also have a one year old that was also a heavy pacifier user. I took it away from him and he never even looked for it. I thought it best to take them both away at the same time. The sooner you do it the better though while they are very young. You live and you learn, that is what parenting is all about, so I certainly don’t judge others by mistakes they make.
Jessica | Feb 10, 2009 | Reply
My daughter is 18 months and she was semi weaned off the paci, she only needed it at night to sleep and in car rides, well when daddy left for Iraq, the paci became like a drug for her…she has to have it ALL THE TIME, but this started only after he left for Iraq, so I am hoping when he returns she wont need it..ugh!!
Tracy | Feb 14, 2009 | Reply
My 2 1/2 year old twins are still addicted to their pacifiers. I brought it up with my pediatrician, and she said it is absolutely nothing to be concerned about. She said we are much harsher here than other countries, and some kids need that comfort longer than others. She said it doesn’t become a dental issue until 4 or 5 years old.
Melissa | Mar 1, 2009 | Reply
I used the book from #8 “The binky baba fairy” and it worked! My son was so excited for the fairys visit! You can get the book at http://www.binkyfairyandmore.com
Nicole | Mar 3, 2009 | Reply
My daughter turned three 4 days ago so we “quit” cold turkey. We made a big deal out of the process by letting her actually cut them up herself. She loves to cut things with scissors and she was excited to cut them up and throw them away! We told her since she was 3 now that she couldn’t have them anymore. It has worked great. I have not tried before now to take it from her, I just felt like she was finally ready. It hasn’t been as tough as I though it would be. She asked me the first night if she had cut ALL of them to which I answered “yes”, end of conversation, she got in her bed and went right to sleep.
Having a pacifier at three is not indicative of a permissive mother. My daughter had one up till the day she turned three but I didn’t let her have it all the time. I quit letting her have it out in public by the age of two because of judgmental people and their rude comments. She learned to leave it in her carseat when we went somewhere and she was happy when we got back in the car and it was there. While I don’t feel that it is an emotional need for a toddler to have one, it is a comfort, just like a “lovey” blanket, stuffed animal, breast or bottle to other kids. I don’t feel that it is a habit, it is a comfort. Let them be little while they are, they grow so quickly that this will soon enough be a thing of the past.
Jen | Mar 15, 2009 | Reply
Any advice for this situation?
My beautiful step-daughter is almost 4 years old and only with us part time (every other weekend). Her mother provides her with free access to the pacifier 24/7, despite our request to begin weaning her (we can’t do it on our own as we have her so infrequently). We have her down to just at night and on long car trips.
None of the above tricks will work because, for example, if we told her it was broken, she found it tasted bad, or a fairy came to take it, she is now old enough to know there are more at the store.
What do we do?
bridget | Apr 24, 2009 | Reply
my issue with weaning is that i do not have the full support of my family… the thing is i know my son doesn’t NEED it. He doesn’t take it with him to the daycare…. and he is there from 8am to 5pm….. but the minute he walks thru the door he asks for it… when he was a baby my parents and i agreed if he was old enough to ask for it then we would discuss weaning… it is a comfort to him though so now i am in the process of trying to find other coping mechanisms for him.. he is in the terrible two’s stage and “paci” seems to be the only thing to cool the temper tantrums…..
any advice??
Rachel | Apr 30, 2009 | Reply
I work at a day care and there are 3 and 4 year olds that still suck on pacifiers and some even bottles. I’m sorry but I think that is too old to be drinking bottles and sucking on pacifiers. I have a 18 month old that always has to have her pacifier and I’m wanting to wean her now while still young. I don’t really think badly of parents who have older kids who suck pacifiers but I think over 2 years old is way too old to be doing that. Maybe the parents don’t have the patience for it because a lot of kids cry when you take it… I don’t know. I do think the sooner the better and I think Cold Turkey is the best way to go.
Eve | May 20, 2009 | Reply
I think its gross for 3-4 year olds to be walking around with bottles and pacifiers..Its horrible for their teeth and shows how lazy the mother is. Yeah I’m one of those rude people that make comments when I see kids with pacifiers and bottles. GROSS
Maria | May 25, 2009 | Reply
My 2 1/2 year old son threw his paci away in the garbage after we had talked about doing so a few days before. The first night of not having the paci, i reminded him that we had thrown it away and he cried but he stopped asking for it. It was very difficult for him to fall asleep that night so i offered to massage his back (patting it gently). He hasn’t asked for it ever since but now he wants me to message his back so he can fall asleep and he cries endlessly if i don’t do so. He is also waking up at night calling for me. What do i do?
Bella | May 28, 2009 | Reply
Great posts! Regarding the binky, my friend absolutly raved about the cut method, and the psychology behind it. She emailed me a link to a site that has a free publication (supported by advertisements). Very cool stuff, worked like a charm for me as well; wouldn’t do it any other way. The link is http://www.bye-bye-binky.com for anyone who is interrested. If you do, let me know your thoughts… Bella
Becca | Jun 22, 2009 | Reply
I once heard about a couple who simply nailed the pacifier to the wall, and when the kid wanted it, that’s where he had to stand to use it. I believe it worked really well!
"Lazy"mom | Jun 22, 2009 | Reply
Judgemental freaks! I guess I’m one of the “lazy” moms. My first daughter was off the paci by 1 year, but my 2.5 year old still takes one. we’ve made two attempts, but she is really really tough. i was on bedrest from Sept-Oct, then again from dec-march. we had many changes happen including moving her into a toddler bed, moving her into a new room to share with her older sister, potty training her, and bringing home a new baby. i was resting for three months before the baby came and we had to decide what was most imprtant to us-getting rid of the paci did not make the list. i think my daughter was asked to deal with a lot of changes in a short amount of time and i didn’t think taking away something familiar and comforting at that time was the right thing to do. if that makes me lazy, well, bring on the bon bons and potato chips!
Sally | Sep 7, 2009 | Reply
I love “lazy” moms comment!!! Every child is going to be different my daughter was not potty trained till she was 3 and I did work with her on that since she was 2 she just had to do it herself. We are currently working on the paci issue but for all you poeple who say oh my god thats gross maybe you should just concentrate on your own children and let the rest of us be the kind of parents we want to be. Its nasty rude people like you who should keep your thoughts to yourself!
aly123 | Oct 10, 2009 | Reply
1 of all 5 is way to old to suck a bink. My cousin Madison is almost three and she has problems! Everytime my baby sister and I go up there she wants to eat her baby food,she also sucks a bink 24/7 im going to use dip in coffe without anyone knowing.plus my aunt made 2 attemps to get her off but she cant deal with the crying.Today I asked my aunt when is maddy going to get off the pacifier?and she said’when she chooses.like who would let their 3 year old choose when she’s going to get of the bink? She gets me so mad.Also she is so dumb she’ll come up to me and take my homework,crinkle it,and hide it. and she only sucks it mostly when her mom is around plus, she doesn’t really even suck it.Today i cut off one of the bink tops and her mother started going buzerk after she asked me to. jees
Amanda | Oct 24, 2009 | Reply
Obviuosly aly123 is a child herself and doesn’t have a child to understand what she is even talkng about. I also agree with “lazy” mom. I was going to start weaning my 16 month old son off the paci, but am deciding to wait because he will be going through alot of changes with us moving into a new home, him getting his own room, and he is going to need that comfort of his paci. those of you who criticize moms for their children still needing the paci at an older age are ignorant. every child is different and and some need the comfort of a paci to go through changes more than others. In a perfct world my son would be off the paci by now, but it’s not and we are in the middle of going through alot of changes so he needs something to comfort him and that right now is his paci, as well as it is for other children who happen to be 3 or 4 years old. So i guess I am a “lazy” mom too for caring about my son and wanting to keep something constant and comforting for my son in our changing life right now.
lynsea | Nov 18, 2009 | Reply
I too agree with most posts here. Its absolutely unacceptable for a child to have a pacifier past the age of two, and agree that its lazy parenting! Its very bad for their teeth, way before ages 4 and 5, and its more of a habit than it is comfort when your child passes age 2. I have a 16 month old daughter who is attached at the hip with her binky, but just because she is doesnt mean that i should postpone the weaning process. I dont know what parenting is like for all mothers out there, but i do know that parenting relies on the parent. When you say, oh i just couldnt wean at 18 months or 24 months or because you have a new baby that always has a binky, its not because your kid cant handle it emotionally, its because the parents dont have the time and patience to handle the process! No and time-outs go a long way when your kids dont listen or obey. Im not saying that you should put your child in time out for wanting their binky but come on buck up. If you dont want them to have a binky its you thats gonna make sure they dont have the binky at WHATEVER age! Timing is everything, they might not get it, but you dont cave…. children all learn at a different rate, weaning is no different, it may take longer for some, and even longer for some others. All im saying is that Parents need to parent, and all the other stuff in between is just that…. stuff!!!
Sara | Nov 22, 2009 | Reply
After reading all of the comments i feel that most of you are just outright uneducated buttholes!! I have a degree in child psychology and if you dont know that means that i have a phd you cant have anything less to be an actual child psychologist. Anyway studies have shown the children who have there pacifiers taken away to soon have problems later on and that its not necessarily a emotional issue as it is a comfort but like a few parents above have said if the child is going through stresses at home such as a new baby coming, moving, getting a big kid bed anything like that can affect the child leading him to hold on to what he has to comfort him some kids it is a pacifier or a blanket or a doll etc.. taking away there comfort when they have such things going on can in the end cause emotional problem with the child separation anxiety and such things i believe as a licensed professional that all of you people who have problem with it really should seek therapy yourself for underlying issues and i honestly believe you are stuck up and rude and your children will resent you in the future and my son got rid of his “binky” at 18 months but only because he was ready to!
Dina | Dec 5, 2009 | Reply
Sara, I love your reply
You said it: they will do it when they are ready. And for all you freaks out there calling other parents lazy, parenting is not about power–yes, you CAN take away the pacifier, but being a parent is like being an educator, you have to facilitate the process, you have to teach them how to come to that decision themselves even not forcefully take it away. At the end you will either have to spend money on therapy or on braces—I vote for braces!
Tina | Dec 22, 2009 | Reply
I think it’s no ones business what age a child should stop using a pacifier. If someone came up to me and said it’s GROSS, I would tell them to shut the hell up and worry about their own ugly children.
Rochelle Reavis | Jan 16, 2010 | Reply
I love Sara’s reply. I have a son who turned 3 in December and yes he still takes the paci before his naps and at bedtime. We kept thinking he would just give it up himself since he weaned himself off the bottle around 12 months, but since it worked and we had no one telling us how horrible it was for him we stuck with it. We thought he would be off of it by now, however, we moved to a new house AND had a new baby at the end of August, so we thought that it would be a bad idea to try it during all those traumatic changed. He had a VERY difficult time adjusting to the move and baby and if we’d have taken his paci it would have been worse. And, one month ago we finally go him to start sleeping in his own bed, which by the way works so well because he is still using the paci, so I think I would be crazy to take it away from him right now. Every kid is different and I prefer to gradually introduce my son to changes. He is not gonna be on it till he goes to school or anything! And he only used it a few times a day, so what is the harm in that. What would it matter whether he was using a binkie, or a stuffed animal? He would still be using something as a crutch to get to sleep. And he does not keep it in his mouth all night. It falls out and he stays asleep. So in my opinion, we are so caught up in all these “rules” for our children these days. Let them be little
ShayBrat | Jan 27, 2010 | Reply
My 4 year old daughter still uses the binky and thats only because she grinds her teeth something awful. Uggh all you people calling us “lazy” parents are the idiots who think they can control everyones lives. Either stop bitching about what other parents are doing and get on with your lives or GROW the fuck up and keep you nasty comments to yourself and worry bout your own kids.
monika | Feb 2, 2010 | Reply
I have made so many attempts to remove a dummy from my 3 year old son, without success.It is making him speak with a lisp. I have tried different ways and nothing seems to work. As for peoples nasty comments check yourself before judging others, noone is perfect.
cmcheekie | Feb 11, 2010 | Reply
Sara, thank you for your reply, and everyone else’ reply that was not a negative attack. My son is almost 40 months old and still takes a paci at bed time only. I have tried to talk him into ditching it but, he is not ready. I do not consider myself a lazy parent. My son was going poop in the potty at 22 months and was completely potty trained at 28 months. My son says yes please, and no thank you. He was speaking sentences by the time he was 13 months old through sign language, in which we learned, and then taught him. He has the cognitive skill level of a four year old, and speaks better than a four year old. We did not get there by being lazy! I for one choose my battles wisely. I have spoken with the dentist, he has no problem with it. It is “gross” to me to think that there are such narrow minded people out there, that have nothing better to do, than to worry about how long my son wants to suck on a pacifier. Seriously, find something real to be grossed out about!!
NATALIE | Mar 4, 2010 | Reply
My daughter is 2 1/2 years old and i am trying to wean her off the pacifier but had no such look yet .Going to try some of the suggestions in other posts . I have not found motherhood easy since the birth of my daughter ,and may i just say that its people like some of the ones above that put pressure on parents to constantly do the right thing .One of the things i have learnt about being a mum is that no one is perfect and u deal with things differently because you know youre child.People are so quick to judge and it really annoys me because who is to say whats right and wrong !!!!!!!
Brianna | Mar 10, 2010 | Reply
I probably would never have given Ava a pacifier to begin with but she was born a little sick and her biggest comfort was sucking so the paci was the best way. Now she’s 14 months and uses it only at bedtime (if it is in her sight during the day she’ll put it in her mouth but she doesn’t need it so I don’t give it) I am basically trying to get her off the bedtime routine with it. It wasn’t hard getting her used to it for bed but now I notice her front teeth have grown in funny. I think I’m ready to try the cutting method. I’m just worried about her teeth growing in wrong
theresa004 | Mar 11, 2010 | Reply
I am in the process of weaning my 2 1/2 year old off his \\\”choochie.\\\” His pediatrician never fussed at me for him still using it, but swore by the cut method when the time came. This morning I decided it was time, entirely because I am sick of looking for the damn thing when it gets lost three times a day, and it\\\’s gross because he spits it out all the time and it ends up on every kind of floor.
So this morning, on the sly, I cut a v-shape into the tip. He took one suck, took it out and looked at it, took another suck, then told me it was broken. I tried to fix it with a screwdriver. He tried it a few more times and now won\\\’t have anything to do with it. Suprisingly he was very matter of fact about the whole thing. I thought he\\\’d be more pissed. I have been in wonderment all day.
Except, he wouldn\\\’t take a nap, and had a really hard time falling asleep. Worse, he woke up and cried inconsolably for like 20 minutes. So now I feel horrible. He never asked for choochie though.
And that one post has me worried that I\\\’m damaging him emotionally. Probably he\\\’ll figure out how to sleep. But his grandfather was just commenting today how secure he seems so I hope I haven\\\’t undone all of that.
People that would make a judgmental comment to a stranger in public about their child are completely rude and misguided.