10 Survival Tips When There are Teenagers in Your House

Face it. You have babies. They grow up. When they become teenagers, they tell you they hate you and eventually move off to go to college or their separate ways.

Whatever happened to the darling little two-year-old who told you that you were their hero, or they wanted to be just like you? They grew up into teenagers.

Here’s how you make sure your kids make it… and you survive too.

1. Talk to your kids

   This is the number one way to survive. I don’t care what you’re talking about – the funnier the better, I’ve found. You’d be surprised at what can happen to slip out of your child’s mouth when you just talk to them about everyday things.

2. Pick your battle

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   Which is worse… a nose ring or a kid who can’t clean up their room? Trust me. It’s the nose ring. However, which is worse… a nose ring or a teenager who’s drinking when you’re not looking? Yep. The alcohol.

   You, as a parent, need to figure out which battles to pick. If you don’t choose wisely, then the teenager will rebel and move deeper into the “evil” end of life. It’s like a board game. At each turn, you have to decide if that battle’s worth fighting, or if you can hold out until something really big comes along. If you can hold out, do it. Not eating broccoli is a lot less of a crisis than stealing your credit card and going on a shopping spree.

3. Accept the inevitable

   Yes. Your daughter will be spending more time in front of a mirror. Your son will have to learn how to shave, and it’ll be up to you to teach him. Accept these things. They will come and it’s better to be prepared when it does come. When your child’s in about fourth grade, it’s the time to get ready for the birds and the bees talk, learn the current teenage lingo and prepare to say no to a lot of things.

4. Have a space for each person

   Teenagers need their space, and if you get more than one stuck in a room for more than ten minutes, you’re going to have an explosion. Know where you’re going to send them and what they’ll do while there, to keep them out of trouble. When you’ve just had it, tell all of them to go to their “happy space”, preferably away from you, until the air clears.

5. Understand privacy

   When my kids were little, they didn’t care if I needed to put clothes away in their room or give them an impromptu hug. When they hit about the age of 11, that all changes. No more hugs, unless no one is looking. Knock on the door before entering…so they can put their diary away. ‘I need my privacy, Mom’, and you’ll learn that early.

6. ‘Just because my friends are doing it’ isn’t an answer

   No. The answer is no. Don’t fall for that one. Would your son or daughter jump off a cliff if their friends would do it? No. When I hear that phrase, the automatic answer is always no. Then I ask what it is they’re doing, and answer “no” again, usually.

7. “It’s just a little party. It’s no big harm.”

   Don’t fall for that. It might just be a little party, but trust me… unless there are two adults at the party for each teenager, there’s bound to be some sort of problem. Today it might be a little party, but tomorrow, it might be something bigger that you can’t handle. Even same-gender sleepovers can become more than you want to happen. Unless you know the parents who will be at the little party, be careful.

8. “I have to have it!” and “Everyone’s doing it!”

   Yeah… And I have to have my nose pierced…if I live in a different culture. In our household, we have a budget that we stick to fairly religiously. Teenagers eat a lot, so you really need to consider a budget. If it’s not in the budget, forget it, kids. Most of the time, the “have to have it” things are ruled by peer pressure and aren’t good quality. Clothing comes to mind for this.

   How many times have you bought expensive t-shirts to have them shrink on the first cold-water washing? I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s happened to me. If they think they “have” to have it, tell them you’ll think about it in a month. See if their “have to have it” or “everyone’s doing it” hasn’t changed to something else. That’ll deter the impulse buying, because fads come and go.

9. Pick your child’s friends

   Trust me on this one. Any peer that you think is going to steer your child in the wrong direction doesn’t get past your front door. I had a friend who was extremely loving toward everyone, a real tree-hugger. However, when it came to her kids, she taught me this lesson-pick your child’s friends.

   If they’re hanging out with a child who isn’t what you want your child to become, thwart the friendship somehow. You’ll be the bad guy, but when your child goes to college and the peer goes to jail, you’ll be thanked.

10. Know how and when to do a lockdown on your child

    If your kid is out of control and you don’t know what to do, put your child in a social coma. They may go to school, after school activities, church and home. You know everything in their lives, and may even have to call the school on a regular basis to make sure he/she is in school.

    Some parents even strip the child’s bedroom down to the bare bones… a bed, clothes and a desk. Sometimes, in extreme cases, even the door is removed from the bedroom. It’s because we’re parents and we do care how our children turn out. You love your child. Remember that.

The teenage years are the toughest for any parent to experience. If you lay down the law early, you will survive. They will test you, to see how far they can go, but if you don’t move the boundaries, they’ll learn early on that you mean business. Good luck. We’re all rooting for you.