10 Most Important Things I Learned When Dealing with Children

In my experience as a kindergarten teacher I learn many things every single day.  As flexible and spontaneous as I have to be in order to accommodate to the children’s needs there are some basic guidelines I have learned when dealing with them.

1) A child needs freedom – Even the littlest ones will start to rebel when they know they are being controlled. In kindergarten we give the children time to play, time to laze around and time to be themselves.  Because it is a controlled environment, children can choose what they want to do and they discover their interests at their pace. In our room, soe toys are brought out at a child’s reach every day and children are free to roam around the room and play with whatever catches their interest.

2) A Child needs Limits – Balancing freedom with limits is a tricky yet worthwhile endeavor. That’s the importance of routine and non-negotiable limits. “You can play in the sand without your shoes for 5 minutes after that you brush your shoes off and go inside.” Even the most headstrong children will rebel against limits but follow in the end. 

3) Empower the Child – If the child has a sense that he is in some control of the situation he is happier. Many times especially when dealing with toddlers I had to stop myself from helping them do a drawing or paint a painting with them. In the end, although the artwork’s outcome is far from what I had in mind, I always have a happier more confident child.

4) Give the Child a Limited Choice – Do you want to listen to “Little Red Riding Hood or Snow White?” , “Do you want to wear the white shirt or the black shirt?” I”ve learned as a teacher and a mother of four boys that it is easier to give them limited choices.  Giving any child an unlimited choice is asking just asking for trouble.

5) Routine – Again in my experience as a mother and as a teacher, I know the importance of establishing a routine. There is an obvious  difference in concentration and behavior between children who know routines and others who have no routines at home. Children who understand routines are calmer, less stressed, and more cooperative than a child who doesn’t.  A child who has a routine at home and in school can concentrate for longer periods of time.

6) Step Back – Again in relation to giving the child their space. Let the child handle an argument with a friend. Step in only when needed or when there is a chance one child is going to get hurt.  Get the child to think about what he is doing and take responsibility for his action.

7) Go Down to the Child’s Level – When one talks to a child one has to bend down or squat in order to see the child face to face. Lower your voice so the child does not feel threatened. Often a soft conversation or soothing sounds will calm even the most irate preschooler. Even children with special needs (autism) will respond calmly to a soft voice. Loud noises or shouting voices will only provoke his already irate mood.

Give the child Something To Do – “Can you help mommy water the garden? Mop the floor? Or wipe the windows?” By doing this you can’t expect some real help but you certainly can help even the most irritable youngster. Letting the child help and not doing things over will do a lot in boosting a child’s self confidence.

9) Don’t put words into their Mouths – Don’t talk for them. Even if it takes forever for the child to say something. Try to listen. Children love that it when you listen. 

10) Laugh – Laugh! When you are with a child nothing is important but the child. Spilled water, broken toys, playthings scattered all about. The point is you have a happy child in your hands and he is bringing you so much joy. Laugh with these children for they are precious souls sent here to brighten your day.