How to Look Like an Experienced Chef

By: hotblack

My sister’s college roommate used to cook up a little garlic in olive oil whenever she’d invite a guy over for dinner. The place smelled so good when he got there, it didn’t matter what dinner actually tasted like. The point is, there are many things you can do, short of actually cooking palatable food, to create the impression that you’re not a total buffoon in the kitchen. Here are a few simple techniques you can try to make it look like you know what you’re doing.

First, let’s deal with the outfit. Forget about buying chef’s whites or that ridiculous chimney hat (it’s actually called a “toque”). You don’t even need an apron, unless you’re planning on whipping up some biscuits in a tuxedo. All you really need is a clean kitchen towel tucked into your belt or waistband. That way, you will exude an air of relaxed confidence.

Next, let’s talk about the kitchen setup. You’ve seen all those cooking shows where the countertop is perfectly arranged with all the ingredients pre-measured or chopped. This technique is called mise en place (pronounced “meez on plahs”), a French term meaning “to put in place.” It simply means that you do all the hard work ahead of time, and when you’re actually cooking it’s just a matter of throwing the ingredients in. It makes everything look so easy, and makes you look like a master chef. So read through your recipes and gather everything together. One strategy is to place all your herbs, spices, and garlic together on a saucer, and place larger chopped items in little bowls. Make sure perishable ingredients make their way back to the fridge after you’ve prepped them.  

Nothing raises doubts about your culinary prowess like a desperate plea for Band-Aids or a tourniquet emanating from behind the kitchen door. To avoid cutting yourself, it is essential to keep your knives very sharp (when your knives get dull, use one of those tabletop sharpeners where you slide the blade through a groove) and learn a simple chopping technique. Sharp knives allow you to cut through meats and vegetables easily, without slipping. When you’re chopping something, hold it down with your fingers tucked under so your nails are flat against the food and your knuckles, are facing the knife. Chop with the blade leaning up against your knuckles at a slight angle, and just slide your hand back along the food as you cut. That way, there’s no chance of getting your fingers caught under the blade. You’ll also find that with practice this can be a very fast way to get your chopping done.

A couple of other techniques to sell your skills involve seasoning and testing. When you’re getting all your ingredients together, pour a few tablespoons of salt (use kosher or sea salt for added effect) and pepper in two small bowls. As you’re cooking, season along the way with pinches of salt and pepper from the bowls. You may sprinkle the spices from a foot or two above the pan for even distribution. Under no circumstance should your seasoning be accompanied by wild gesticulations or any monosyllabic barking even remotely similar to “Bam.” That would just be silly.

Testing your food along the way is crucial to getting it “right. Don’t be shy. Use your fingers to poke at things to make sure they’re done, and get a little lick of sauce to see if it needs salt or pepper. After all, that’s why you’ve got a kitchen towel on your hip.